Choose Wisely Frieda

2006-08-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if any of you have ever had to deal with something like this, however, I would imagine most men have. Women love to almost set their boyfriends/husbands on little double dates with their friends boyfriends and husbands. The majority of the time it's awkward. You stumble to try and figure out things to say to one another that you think might interest the guy and hope it sparks a conversation. I mean you have nothing vested emotionally in this you just don't want to waste a night. That and you know that you will, most likely, see this person again whether you want to or not. So you try and find some things that you two have in common so you can remember them for the next time. then that next time is sometimes even more awkward since you know that neither of you had a good time the lat time you hung out so you know whats running through his mind is, "get me out of here!". Just like in your own mind.

My lovely girlfriend Megan has a best friend, we'll call her Frieda. Frieda is a great person and is fun to hang out with. Here is the problem: Any boy Frieda dates I automatically must become friends with. This leads to many nights of awkward silence between Frieda's companions and I. For example, Frieda's last boyfriend whose name will be Walker Texas Ranger (WTR for short) could only talk about basketball. Now I love basketball just as much as the next red-blooded, white american male who can't jump and never had a shot of making it to the NBA, but constant chatter about basketball even gets to me. I mean try and mix in a little talk on religion or politics or a good movie or TV show you saw.

But I digress, I have faith that Frieda will wind up with a man who is perfect for her. I've just really considered making it a matter of prayer htat this man also be someone I can converse with and there will be no awkward pauses where you're freaking out inside your head going, "should I ask him if he owns any pets, or does that sound like I am far too desperate to continue the conversation." We all have those friends who we can just sit there and not say anything and it feels great.

The prospect of being stuck with some guy who Frieda marries and I can't talk with to save my life frightens me. It keeps me up nights. I can't barbecue in my backyard with some weirdo who either doesn't say anything and kind of kicks at imaginary things in the grass, or just drones on about something that is doesn't interest me at all so I am looking for excuses to constantly go back into the house. He would think I had a bladder control problem after one barbecue. I don't want him to ruin my barbecues...I love barbecues. Suburbia, my green grass, the birds chirping, flames enveloping meat! Each one of them is precious and to waste multiple ones a year hanging out with him? And I shudder to imagine what a barbecue at the house of a man like that would be like...

And what about their kids. If they grow up with a dud for a dad then even someone as cool as Frieda might not be able to save them becoming duds themselves. Then my kids will have to suffer through summer nights or christmas parties with duds! Oh horror! Then I can remind myself that it's OK, you have a cool brother and cool friends who along with their kids can balance everything out.

I just have to remember that Frieda is a smart girl with good judgement and whoever she chooses in the end I will be able to hang out with. Plus either way I can hang out with Frieda which is cool. So, I may have overreacted, but I hope it was entertaining...

A funny thing happened on the way to the Sushi Restaurant...

2006-07-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

So I saw a homeless man pooping on the sidewalk here in "lovely" NYC. Here's how it went down...pun intended. I was walking down 36th street near 8th avenue (south of time square which is 42nd and 7th) going to grab sushi with Tyler and his roommate Josh. They were already there and so I was in a hurry. I walked past a man who was leaning against a building in a sitting position. Picture basketball tryouts where you did "wallsits". Since I was in a hurry I thought I saw his pants pulled down, but didn't give it a second look right away. Then two women passed me in the opposite direction and all of a sudden got really quiet when they passed the man doing his "wallsits". It was at this point that I thought what I might have seen, horror of all horrors, was actually happening. So no matter how disguisting, much like a car wreck, I had to sneak a peek. It's not something you see everyday, don't judge me. So I looked and his pants were for sure down around his knees. This just has to make you wonder how many of them are doing this. Then I realized why the streets always smell like poop.

Also, everyone must go see "Little Miss Sunshine" when it comes out. I guarantee that almost everyone I know will think this movie is hilarious and sweet at the same time.

PW's Blog

Choose Wisely Frieda

A funny thing happened on the way to the Sushi Restaurant...